The Dream Job...

Sometimes I want to be a famous writer. This thought flies through my head all the time, as I'm sure it does to many others. However, that thought just gets stuck there...in my head...it's hard for me to put it into action. I feel like I have so many great ideas that just don't translate well onto paper. Lot's of first chapters in my head with nowhere else to go.

I once read that a good writer should have their entire book outlined before they start writing it, but I can't do that. I'm much more of a go with the flow kind of writer. Unfortunately, what tends to happen with me is that I get a good 10 pages out of a story and then wrap it up and call it a "short story" because I'm too impatient to put all of the time into it. Any suggestions from you writers out there?

I think my problem is discipline and patience. I need the discipline to stick with a story, develop it, research it, and write it....and the patience to not get frustrated and give up on all that too soon.

I don't even need to be a famous writer...I'll accept just being a writer. I'd be so happy if I could get my "Great American Novel" done. It would feel great even if it was never published. I just need to figure out how to get there.

I apologize to those who have been reading this blog for awhile and have undoubtedly read a very similar post to this one more than once. I guess that's a sign that I should start putting my words into actions. Maybe I'll be able to do that now that I'm out of school. I know I'll feel writing withdrawals without all of those papers! Maybe I can channel that energy into writing what I want to write. Maybe.

I need motivation

When it comes to school and work, I have the motivation I need. I wake up when I need to, turn in papers on time (if not early), always show up to my shifts on time....blah blah blah. But when it comes to my personal life, I seem to have none. Why is this? You would think it would be the opposite. You'd think that in my personal life I'd just do what I want. I set many goals for myself, both personally and professionally. One of those goals is to write a novel. It's something I've always wanted to do and I have what I consider to be a great story in my head.

Here's my problem. I never write! I get so excited and tell myself "I'm going to sit down tonight and start on this". And I never do. It's not like I can't write, I consider myself to be a decent writer, I just don't do it. And it's something that excites me. The counselor in me wants to say that I avoid it as a way to protect myself. If it turns out really bad, I'll be upset. If I can't get the ideas to flow smoothly from my head to the paper (or computer screen), I'll be upset. So I just don't do it.

There's another reason why I'm afraid to start writing it: I think it's a really great story. Every time in the past that I've taken an idea and put it onto paper, it turns into a short story because I get impatient and wrap it up quickly. Which makes the story not deep at all. I don't want that to happen to this one, because I like it so much and can see so many branches and complexities to the story. So what exactly do I do? I don't want it to turn into just another short story. I want the great American novel. I want to fully explore my ideas and make it a successful attempt. I just don't know how to make myself start it.