Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Like Looking in a Mirror

When I walked into group this morning I was very taken aback. One of our new clients sat there in his chair looking very depressed. He had longish hair, black eyeliner that was obviously smeared from last night, chipped black nail polish, and a Nine Inch Nails shirt. For those who knew me about 10 years ago, this sounds like an adequate description of myself. Talk about your transference issues! It got me thinking later in the day about how much life has changed since then and more eerily, how much things really haven't changed.

At 16 years of age, I was known to wear the occasional eye liner, dress in all black, write horribly depressing poetry, and read Poppy Z. Brite books while listening to Nine Inch Nails. My outward appearance has changed and my rebellion has gone away, but I still hold that love for all things artistic. Poppy Z. Brite has changed to Orson Scott Card, Nine Inch Nails has changed to The Shins, but the basic skeleton of my life back then hasn't changed all that much. And I think that's a good thing. I feel like I've shed the skin that needed to be shed from back then, but the insides have still remained the same, and I'm happy with that. I only hope that this client that reminded me so much of myself at his age ends up with as good of a deal as I got, and I hope that I can help him on his way there.

Eerily enough, on my way home I was listening to Lucy on XM Radio which is the "90's alt rock" channel. They informed me that Nine Inch Nails has a new album coming out on April 17th. Back then (in the 90's) I owned every Nine Inch Nails album and every single, all the VHS tapes and the books, and knew every fact about Nine Inch Nails and Trent Reznor that one would like to know. Now I don't even know about a new album until a month before it comes out. No hard feelings there. But I will be picking up that album on April 17th :)

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