Friday, September 14, 2007

Lesson Of The Day: Control Road Rage!

I'm known for my road rage. Aside from that, I'm probably one of the most easy going people you'd ever meet. It takes a lot to piss me off, and I mean a lot. I'm all about keeping the peace and making life as harmonious and easy going as possible, but get me behind the wheel and this alter ego comes out and I suddenly think the worst of humanity. It's my tragic flaw.

So I'm getting coffee today and on my way home from the coffee shop, I'm driving at a leisurely 35 mph when the car in front of me slams on their brakes and makes a sudden left turn with no blinker or anything. Of course the first thing that comes out of my mouth after slamming on my brakes is "nice f***ing blinkers asshole!" Then I immediately say to myself "well that wasn't very nice Chris, wonder what karma's going to do to you for that one?" Literally said that out loud!....well don't you that not 30 seconds later, I go to take a sip of my iced coffee and the lid isn't on all the way and a good portion of it goes spilling all down my shirt and shorts. Karma's a bitch. Lesson: I really need to learn to stop screaming obscenities at people I don't know, even if they do drive like morons!

19 comments:

Debi said...

I just recovered from being doubled over laughing...you sound just like my husband! Mr. Easy Going until he gets behind the wheel!
Shortly after Annie turned 3, she was sitting on the floor doing a jigsaw puzzle, and there was a piece that just wouldn't attach. After fighting with it for a bit, she just blurts out, "F***ing asshole!" I desperately tried to hold back my laughter, after all she did at least use it in the right context, right? But I asked her, like any good mommy, where she had heard that. Her reply: "That's what Daddy says to all the bad drivers." Needless to say, he's tried to be a bit better since then...but he doesn't always succeed.

DesLily said...

I this Chris? My Chris? I am shocked beyond words! There is a lesson to be learned here.. There was a time that I too was like this.. oh yes, it's true! But now I am much older.. don't even drive anymore. I am a refined old lady who sits in back seats of others who drive and nonchantly give the asshole drivers.. the PINKEY instead of the .. you know.. middle finger!

You do know about the Pinkey don't you Chris?.. (tsk tsk).. That's for those who don't care to send the very best!

amma15 said...

the guy probably had to break like that because I bet there was no street sign and he didn't realize that's where he needed to turn until he got to the corner

Chris said...

Debi, Glad I could give you a laugh ;) You, in turn, gave me the best laugh of my day!! That's hilarious!! Little kids are great, it's amazing what they pick up from those around them, and it's so hard not to laugh at things like that!

Deslily, Oh, I always send the very best behind the wheel...I really need to stop that! lol...I'm telling you, It's like Dr. Jekkyl and Mr. Hyde when I get in my car. Everyone else in the world is a bad driver...not me ;)

Amma15, I would've understood if that was the case, but it was a parking lot that he was turning into! But in all honesty, my reaction was over the top ;) My reactions always over the top, lol...I realize my faults.

Stephanie said...

I actually say it out loud too, which is a bad habit (although I haven't yet spilled all my coffee on myself). Thanks for the laugh (at your expense, of course)! Yep, karma is a bitch!
Stephanie

Stephanie said...

Oops, that's me above, Stephanie @ www.thewrittenword.wordpress.com

Chris said...

Stephanie, Having coffee spilled on myself is a first for me too, lol...Someone's trying to tell me something...at least it made the day interesting!

Robin said...

This was a fun post to read on Friday evening, Chris. I agree...Karma definitely is a bitch!

Chris said...

Glad I could bring a little fun to your Friday, Robin ;)

Kailana said...

You know, I get mad at bad drivers to the point I am fuming, but I don't yell at them. It's interesting really because the other day I had to pull over so that a woman could pull in front of me instead of her original attempt that looked more like she was trying to go where I was, which would have been impossible without her hitting me. And, yeah, I was mad, but I only just let a few cars pull out in front of me so they could deal with her bad driving.

But my boyfriend has some of the worst road rage I have EVER seen, and he gets it from his father. The funny thing is that his father's road rage bothers him, so you would think he would not do it.

SuziQoregon said...

LOLOL - Can I get that last sentence printed on a bumper sticker?

Booklogged said...

I'm so glad it wasn't scalding hot coffee. I remember have road rage once, but I know it was a menopause thing. Guess you can't use that excuse.

Had to laugh at Deslily. I've never heard of the Pinky, but I think I may start using that. Thanks, Deslily.

Cath said...

LOL. Oh dear, sorry you got coffee all down you. My husband mutters about other drivers *all* the time. No shouting or anything just a constant running commentary. Mind you, there are a *lot* of idiots on the road.

Chris said...

Kailana, I'm entirely too stubborn to ever pull over and let someone get in front of me ;) You're a much smarter driver than I! I tend to be more like your boyfriend unfortunately...I get it from my dad too :p

SuziQ, I'd probably make my million by printing that one on a bumper sticker ;)

Booklogged, I've tried that excuse and it didn't work for some reason ;) We should all start using Deslily's pinky trick! The polite way to give the finger!

Cath, I guess it's a guy thing, lol. I usually at least do my shouting with the windows up so I'm not truly offending anyone...what they don't know doesn't hurt them, right? ;)

jean pierre said...

haha! i can totally relate to that...

i also swear a lot in the car.

i once gave a guy the finger and then he raced up next to me, shouting like a madman. i tried to get away from him but we ended up stopping at the same traffic light! the lunatic got out of the car, rushed to my door and started plucking at it, asking me to open it. i couldn't believe he was asking me to open the door - would he open the door for a madman plucking at his door handle and banging on the window!? i just shook my head. i was surprised that my window held, he was banging at it so hard! luckily the light turned and i sped off...

but i tell you, nowadays i think twice before i shout at someone or give 'em the finger.

Chris said...

JP, That is scary! I had a friend that had something similar happen to him once, only he had a gun pulled on him at a red light after giving someone the finger! I'm beginning to think that this post should be a lesson to us all...

Darla D said...

My, what a conversation you started, Chris! It is funny how people's personalities can change so radically once they get behind the wheel.

My philosophy is this (and it extends beyond driving): expect people to drive like idiots, in the most pathetic way possible. When they do, you'll be expecting it. If they by chance don't, you can be pleasantly surprised! Works for me.

Chris said...

Darla, I love your philosophy! I should put that on an index card and stick it on my dash ;) This post really did spark quite a discussion, huh? Glad to hear I'm not alone in my alter-ego!

Bookfool said...

LOL! That is so funny! Have you been watching My Name is Earl?